The couple of last days have been really like my worst nightmare.
Our funny,charming and sweet oriental girl, Sushi broke her leg Easter 2011. At the age of 7 month old.
I want allways to give my cats a chance if it’s possible, and it also depend on the cat and the prognosis.
But Sushi is such a brave girl with a strong personality.
She got a heavy fixarator in her foot,and the healing prosess did start.
The recovery took almost 3 month.
The first weeks she was living in my bedroom,and later she moved down with the others.
Especially her half sister, Pearl was her best comfort in all the period.
When she was fully recovered again I was so happy for her. We all were.
A couple of days ago, Sushi and the rest of our girls was racing in the livingroom and had a real fun time.
They do that,every evening.
But sudden Sushi was limping, and yes, the same foot was broken again:-(
I have spoken with some of my closest friends,and there is so many different opinions.
But I needet all those opinions, and are very greatful to have such good friends close to me.
The only thing I did decide there and then, was that Sushi shall not have a new operation with maby even a longer recovery period.
Cats are the masters of hiding their pain,and I can just imagne what she was going trough after the first operation.
Even with pain medicaments.
One round is worth it, but not 2 – for me – thinking of all the pain for her.
When 1 of 3 possibilities was not an option, I am standing back with either amputation of her bad leg, or put her to sleep.
I have search the internet for all the info I could get,and are back to 50/50, of everything I have been reading about it.
My heart wants one thing,and my head says something else.
I have also been spoken with the Vet who helped Sushi the first time.
Her best advide was a new operation. But no no no!!! I do not want Sushi to go trough it one more time.
An amputation is less expensive, but there is both positive and negative sides with that too. And we talked for a long time.
It is better for an animal to loose a back leg,then a front leg,since the weight point of the body is over 60% on the front legs.
But some animals can feel fantoom pain,some cats will develop a forever sadness.
And of course everything can go very well.
Every operation is a risk, no operation is 100% safe,and Sushi seems to be born under an unlucky star.
It is not often a leg will be re-broken like this, but the upper back leg is a heavy bone to heal.
I have spoken again with some of my friends,even watched videos of 3 legged cats on youtube.
They seems all so happy.
But it feels very wrong for me. To loose an ear or both,the tail, or a toe, even all the teeth, that is one thing,but to loose a leg?
I know when Sushi broke her leg the firs time, we did not have time to think. We had to act. Then it was trying to save the leg,but if the operation went wrong on the table, please amputate.
At the same time, I am wondering if an amputation is the best for an animal or the best thing to do for the owner.
Noone want to be sepparated with the one we love,somethimes we think and act with our hearts and somethimes with our heads.
Somethimes with both.
Because of this happening, Pearl will not move out as a happy neuter yet.
I am back home.
My last visit with the dentist and Sushi was with me.
Sushi has been snuggle in my lap,she was purring and watched me carefully with hope in her eyes. But hoping for what?
A hope to grow old with me,the only human mommy she have ever known, or the hope of let the pain go away?
But maby I did make the right choice?
The Vet told me,even I knew, that cats lives right now, they do not think of the future. They don’t know what we are planning for them.
Sushi did not know I was taking her with me to the hospital to let her pain go, forever.
I hope Sushi will be reborn in a healthy body someday so I can have her back in my arms and kiss her, telling her how much I love her.
I hope she understood I wanted to best for her,and not the best for me.
I hope she is a happy angel,who can watch over all her friends,and even get some new friends in heaven.
I hope she had a happy life here with me,even it was too short.
Breeding is ups and downs,but this time it is the regular person, not the breeder in me who is writing and has made the final choice.
I have been crying all day and I know I will regret the rest of my life for my dessision.
This time I made the dessision with my head,and my heart is forever bleeding.
Rest in Peace, our wonderful brave girl, Sushi.
13.th of August 2010 – 5.th of August 2011.
Your life became too short,but I will never regret that I kept you as a kitten. You gave me so much in all thinkable positive ways.
I did let your pain go,and I hope you can forgive me since I also took your life away from you.
You will forever stay alive in my heart, and in every tear drop.
Heaven has brough another angel home.